I gotta get this out of my system before I blow my top off! It has been a dreadful week and semester. 6 subjects to juggle within the course of 12 weeks. I thought I could handle it. But the amount of coursework and tests is just TOO much to handle!
On top of it, I got morons as team mates for group assignements and having to handle the college's Glee Club. I feel so sad and useles and mad now. I can't believe these people! Cheaters and free-riders! Just because I do well in my assignments don't give you permission to use me to achieve good grades! Shame on you. And you call yourself a scholarship holder.
I don't care about your ass pain! Yes, I am unsympathetic to your plight and your fucking pain. You know why? Because you're a cheater and a fake! You don't deserve that full scholarship! Maybe God is punishing you for all the things you have done. Well, you deserve it. I don't care about your CSR project! You wouldn't be in this shit mess in the first place if you had make an effort to contribute your time to the college in the first place! Piece of shit.
Ugh! Glee rehearsals are going bad! I can't lead. Everyone thinks I'm practically useless...Leading a club but lacking the capability and experience. I suck big time. Eventhough I know I can be a great leader, but I can't do for this club. Too lenient, and everything is out of control. Too strict and people will hate you. I'm a fucking moron. What was I thinking to even establish this club and lead it. I suck at leading.
And so much is expected from me...especially from myself. Yes, my targets are too high and so is my expectation of myself. Some people think highly of me. But I am so far from perfect and am such a hypocrite. I am hot-tempered, mean, selfish, brutally honest, impatient, unfriendly....and the list goes on.
Oh...whatever am I to do?
Sighing out,
MaeQ
