I Said As Much

Long Time No Write

2010-11-12T06:14:00.000-08:00

The title of this post is grammatically incorrect. But who cares really? I don't.
Anyway, I have been neglecting my blog...well, I was busy. Sorta.

Guess what? I have a new follower. Hello there! If I knew you were following me earlier I would have deigned myself to write this awful piece of blog-piece. But what can ya do?
I love punchlines better now. Haha.

Anyway, will update again once I've confirmed something. See ya'll!

Till then,
MaeQ

Examinations

2010-07-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

Aaaargh!!! Exams are up. Crap. How the semester have flown by so fast... It feels as if I just started the semester yesterday. Now, it's already the end of the semester.

Phew! What a semester. Very hectic and interesting as well. There was so much that was going on and is going on. My crush is over. Some friendships are over. A new day. A new dawn. It has all arrived.

Well, I suppose some relationships are never meant to last. Anyway, I won't give up my hope of searching for a boyfriend. However, it won't mean that I'll go searching for one either. I have lots to do for the upcoming semester.

Having a boyfriend will definitely take up too much precious time. Oh, well. When I'm ready. That's all for now.

Exam-mode,
MaeQ

Weird, Weird Feeling

2010-07-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Tell me what you want from me? - OneRepublic

This perfectly describes how I'm feeling write now. Disturbed and feeling lost. Pain whenever I read whatever he wrote. Missing him whenever I do not see him. Accurate feeling = LOST.

What do the both of us want out of each other I will never know. My guts tell me that it will never work or materialise but deep inside I hope that it might. This is a weird feeling to feel for someone so near yet so far.
Hmm...I really miss him.

In conclusion, it's a weird, weird feeling. This is something that I am NOT supposed to feel. *Sighs*

Weirdly weird,
MaeQ

Stupid Cupid!

2010-07-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

Well, as the song goes, cupid is stupid and a real mean guy too. *Sighs*
Oh...what feeling is this? No, not love but infatuation. Again? Aiya...this is not good!
I hardly know the guy and not to mention, we're only communicating on certain grounds. Character flaw for him and boredom plus loneliness for me.

When we're both through this stage, we might never communicate again. I would certainly miss him because we've got so much chemistry together. Or maybe I found him interesting because he would answer all my questions. Besides, he is different. Can't say what exactly is different about him but different enough for me to find him fascinating.

And he is so different because he is probably the most matured person I've ever chatted with. Hopefully I get to meet him when he comes down. Haha. And he slept halfway chatting with me. That is so cute.

Cupid Out,
MaeQ

A Shoulder

2010-07-06T00:19:00.000-07:00

I want a boyfriend!!!! It's no secret! Yes! Why? Because I want a shoulder to cry on, to lean on and to sit on. Lol. [About the sit on part is just a joke]
Yesterday during lunch, someone asked me, "Hey dear, are you seeing somebody?"
And I answered, "No, I'm not. Never seen 'anyone' for the past 21 years of my life."
And she continued by saying, "Go and shop around la, girl."
My answer: I don't have time to shop around.

Aiya...I could just kicked myself! Why in the bloody world did I say that? Ugh. I am officially pathetic.
Hmm...problem is, I'm too shy to approach the opposite gender. Besides, they find me too aggressive. Haha.
Oh, well. That's too bad.

And one of my friend's boyfriend once said to me, "I have friends who would love to date you."
My answer: Yea, unfortunately they're your friends and not mine.

Hahaha...Oh, you stupid girl.

Boyfriendless,
MaeQ

Conversation Tidbit

2010-07-04T00:59:00.000-07:00

Last night, on the way home after movie. In the car, with my sister.

Me: Hmm...eh, go and buy for me that yummy chocolate panda biscuit filling that tastes real yummy from ISETAN. I feel like eating it.

*Quiet*
*More silence*
[So, I turned to look at her while I was driving. She was staring at me.]

Me: What?
Sis: What? Did I give birth to you or something? Why should I be feeding you?

Rofl...it was indeed a sarcastic pun. But it was hilarious! See what my sister is capable of? Funny moments.
*Sigh*
I am so going to miss her when she furthers her studies.

Over and out,
MaeQ

Online Journals

2010-07-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

Stinking online journals! Why can't I access it? Why, oh why do you make me suffer so? Aaaaaaargh!!!!

KNS!!!! F! F! F! F!

I need to start the research on my assignment TODAY!!!!

Unreliable thing! Ugh!

Journaling out,
MaeQ

Canon in D Major

2010-07-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Cannon in D Major! It's an awesome piece by Johann Pachelbel, a German composer. The music just makes you feel so.....oooooh...it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and makes you wanna curl your toes in pleasure.

Haven't heard of it? Go listen. I highly recommend it.

Cannoning Out,
MaeQ

Temper, Temper.

2010-07-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

I should learn to control my temper better. Keep a tighter rein on it. Control myself. In all my actions, thoughts and words. Oh...
I am so easy to be instigated! Weak. Therefore, I must change. And I will have small outbursts like this once in a while. I find that it is a great alternative to de-stress!
;)

Hot-tempered,
MaeQ

Steam!!!

2010-06-30T07:07:00.000-07:00

I gotta get this out of my system before I blow my top off! It has been a dreadful week and semester. 6 subjects to juggle within the course of 12 weeks. I thought I could handle it. But the amount of coursework and tests is just TOO much to handle!

On top of it, I got morons as team mates for group assignements and having to handle the college's Glee Club. I feel so sad and useles and mad now. I can't believe these people! Cheaters and free-riders! Just because I do well in my assignments don't give you permission to use me to achieve good grades! Shame on you. And you call yourself a scholarship holder.

I don't care about your ass pain! Yes, I am unsympathetic to your plight and your fucking pain. You know why? Because you're a cheater and a fake! You don't deserve that full scholarship! Maybe God is punishing you for all the things you have done. Well, you deserve it. I don't care about your CSR project! You wouldn't be in this shit mess in the first place if you had make an effort to contribute your time to the college in the first place! Piece of shit.

Ugh! Glee rehearsals are going bad! I can't lead. Everyone thinks I'm practically useless...Leading a club but lacking the capability and experience. I suck big time. Eventhough I know I can be a great leader, but I can't do for this club. Too lenient, and everything is out of control. Too strict and people will hate you. I'm a fucking moron. What was I thinking to even establish this club and lead it. I suck at leading.

And so much is expected from me...especially from myself. Yes, my targets are too high and so is my expectation of myself. Some people think highly of me. But I am so far from perfect and am such a hypocrite. I am hot-tempered, mean, selfish, brutally honest, impatient, unfriendly....and the list goes on.

Oh...whatever am I to do?

Sighing out,
MaeQ

A Fragment of My Imagination - Part 1

2010-05-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

Heels tapping on the cold marble floor. Making a rhythmic tap-tap-tap sound as I walked across the lobby towards the lifts located in the middle. I nod towards the security table and received their nods in response. There were few who were waiting for a lift. A blonde and petite looking lady turned and smile as I approached.

" Hey, Leyla. How are you doing? Looking tired," she said.

" Oh, hey Anna. Yeah, I had to redo the proposal for the Dinkman and Howard last night. They wanted it to be sent to Tokyo this morning at 4 a.m. Had to pull an all nighter."

" Ugh. That sucks. Don't they employ secretaries for that kind of crap?"

" Yeah, I know. It seems that some moron told them that secretaries weren't smart enough to handle such a mundane job. I'm going to put a bullet through Brian's head when I see him."

" He's such a dickwat. Dinkman and Howard should probably just fire him."

I snorted at Anna's remark. As if that is going to happen. Never in a million years. I just kept my peace as taking the conversation further will only aggravate my already sour mood. Anna Winter is the head of the Media Department in Dinkman and Howard. I, Leyla Carmel, am the head of Foreign Affairs.

Dinkman and Howard deals with property development and land related matters. Despite being a heavyweight in the property development industry, Dinkman and Howard managed to keep the original name of their business. George Dinkman and Ellis Howard the founders of Dinkman and Howard are two guys, despite their womanizing ways, who are geniuses in the property development area.

Just after five years in the industry, Dinkman and Howard managed to make a name for themselves in developing properties and emerged as one of the industry's giants. All this amidst predicted failure from various parties especially the giants in property development. Even with the use of extreme and unconventional methods, Dinkman and Howard beat and survived the odds. Rumours had it that they even gave the finger to those who ridiculed them. That was what I heard anyway. Rumours.

As the lift doors opened on my office floor the usual scene greeted me. People leafing through folders and having conversations on their phones simultaneously were at almost every table. Some speaking in English and some French, Italian, Chinese and Japanese elsewhere. Two receptionists are manning the phone and busy transferring phone calls to the appropriate associates. Secretaries jotting down notes and instructions from the associates from appointments with clients to what type of coffee to be served later.

At almost every table that I passed on the way to my office, I was greeted with a slight nod of the head or a "Good morning, Leyla.". I managed only the briefest of smile for my secretary, Judith, as I walked straight into my office. My office is large enough to accommodate a stack of bookshelves, one huge work desk with an equally huge work chair made of the finest leather, two chairs facing my work desk and a sofa set complete with a coffee table.

As I settled into my office, Judith came in just like every day and handed me a stack of letters and a few folders. She then proceeded to update me on my appointments and what-nots. It's the same routine everyday. Very efficient. Finished what she has come to do Judith left to do what ever it is that she does after the morning briefing. Sighing, I began going through the letters that were addressed to me. This morning is going to be a killer. I want my bed. No, I'll ask for a raise instead. Before that, I will throw Brian off the rooftop of this 36 floors building.

After three hours I was ready to just lie on the floor of my carpeted office and sleep like a baby. Being the boss is not fun. There are always problems to be addressed from monthly projects to employees disputes. Not to mention the ass whipping that is always handed out by George and Ellis at the bi-weekly meetings. Don't even get me started on the visiting foreign clients that we get.

Just as I was going to have a shut eye for a minute, there was a knock on my door. It actually sounded more like someone was thumping their fist on my door. Thump-thump-thump. Funny. Usually Judith knocks discreetly and gently. This is definitely not Judith.

" Come in," I said in my most professional and intimidating voice.

" Leyla," said the person at the door. It was Ellis. Standing at 6 foot 2 with chestnut brown hair and hazel brown eyes, Ellis Howard was definitely more than attractive. He would have been a model had he not ventured into property development.

" Good morning, Ellis. Have a seat. Coffee?"

" No thanks. But you definitely look like you need one."

" I'm fine. I don't need caffeine to stay alive." I smirked at him. Ellis loves coffee. It's a fact.

I wondered where Judith was. She usually admits Ellis or George and every other people into my office.

" How may I help you Ellis? The Hokasawa document? You need it to be faxed to some other place?"

" Funny Leyla. Nothing better than a dose or sarcasm huh?" Blank stare. I refused to give him the satisfaction of an argument.

" No, it has nothing to do with the Hokasawa document. Mr. Denki got it fine and they're very pleased with it. Thought that you might to know that."

" Huh." Considering that you and George made me stay up all night finishing it, yes, of course I'd like to bloody know about it.

" It has more to do with one of our clients. He is an American. Yes, I know you're the Head of Foreign Affairs but I need someone that I can trust with this client."

" I see. You have so many department heads in Dinkman and Howard and only I can entertain this American client? What about Brian?"

" Brian? Brian Johnson? He's an idiot. I don't want him screwing up this project."

I did a double take. I stared at Ellis Howard as if I have never seen him in my life before. Did I hear right? Ellis calling Brian an idiot. If only I had a voice recorder. I would play back this conversation over and over again like a mother's lullaby. Ellis picking me over that dickwat Brian. This is delightful. Considering that Brian is head of the local liaison team, me getting this account will be a huge smack to his ego. Take that, Brian! I don't have to push you off the building after all. You will do it yourself. Ellis cleared his throat.

" Leyla, did you hear me?"

" Uh, yes. Yes, I did. But are you sure you want me to take an American client? Brian will not be happy about it."

" Yes, I am sure. And I don't care what Johnson thinks. George will deal with him. This client is too important for us. Johnson has been under-performing for the past few months and George and I do not want to risk it."

Oooh...this is new. And not to mention interesting.

" Well, if you and George trust me enough to handle it..."

" That is why you have been assigned this account instead of Johnson. We trust you enough."

" Okay then Ellis. I'll take this account."

" And you are to personally handle it. I know how capable your employees are, but I do not want anybody on this case unless supervised or authorised by you to assist. You are to specifically head this account and be the main liaison person. Is that clear?"

" Yes Ellis. So, what's his name?"

" Jude Ryan Cortell."

To be continued...

©MaeQ 2010-05

Green Eyed, Hidden Monster.

2010-04-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

No, I am not talking about the Hulk. Hulk could be seen from miles away. This green monster that I am talking about is J-E-A-L-O-U-S-Y. Yes...sounds familiar? We all have it in us. It is impossible to not have such feelings as it is constantly present around us.

     I, will be the last one on Earth, okay maybe one of the millions of last ones, to admit that I have the green eyed monster in me. It is after all a terrible thing to admit. But sitting down the other day, a thought just came to me. Why do I have the huge urge to succeed in my life? Why do I want to be so successful as to earn big money, buy awesome cars, get a rich husband, be known to people and to migrate to an European country?

     Then, one word came to mind, after years of asking myself and being asked by people; JEALOUSY. Yes, when I look at rich and famous people, I get jealous. So jealous that it has molded me into who I am today. That is, a person who wants what she wants and will not take no for an answer. So highly competitive that I can't stand to be second place or third place because I get jealous of the 1st place winner.

     It is so weird to have this relevation because for years I could not, for the life of me, guess why was I such a driven person. Ambitions placed high. It was simple in the end, I was jealous. I did not like the feeling of being looked down upon by people. When I was young, I was looked down by my classmates back in the all girls school. But if there were any rich girls or pretty girls, they were loved regardless of their behaviour.

     With all this blatant display of preferential treatment, I guess it got into my little head that if I were rich and famous all of them would love me and never look down on me again. Since I was overweight, not very pretty and not outgoing at that time, everyone made fun of me. But looking back, I feel greatful at those classmates of mine because I learnt a lot from them. I learnt that people can be harsh and not very nice when they want to be.

     I learnt that I would never ever let myself be put down in that regard by anyone ever. I learnt that I never have to take shit from anyone if I don't ever want to. And from here I decided that I would never let anyone look down upon me again because I can achieve anything I want to. Why? Because I CAN.

     However, over the years, realising my potential, that is I can achieve anything I want, I changed. I envied others when they did good because I knew that I could be as good as them too. My competitive spirit came from the fact that I was jealous of other's achievements. I tried curbing it but found it too hard to do so. And of course, I never admitted that I was a jealous infested person.

     Not to say that this jealousy has been really bad for me. But all I can say is that it also helped me a little along the way. I would not pushed myself hard enough and fulfil my potential without jealousy. I would not have achieved the things I achieved today without jealousy to push me.

     All I can say that jealousy is a powerful emotion that can harm you, or help you. As long as you contain it and chanel it properly it will be - I can't believe I'm going to say this - fruitful.

Jealous Much,
MaeQ

Thoughts

2010-03-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

These few days has got me thinking. I go deep into thoughts and I just have so much to write. Well, it is mostly about me. I don't have a particular thought that is sticking to me....yes, I just remembered. I went for group counselling last week. With three of my coursemates. Nothing extraordinary. Just went for the fun of it and out of curiosity. Besides, one of my coursemate invited me anyways. What's the harm?

I remember the first time that I went, we were asked to do a collage. It was interesting really. I mean, the last time I remembered doing a collage was in primary school. So, last week was to discuss about the collages that we made. It was very insightful. It made me see and realise stuff about others and myself that I have never seen before. I would not call it a revelation exactly but it was indeed an eye-opener.

I noticed stuff about people that I have never noticed before and also myself of course. I mean, I have been called straight-forward before, but I never actually take note or bothered much about it. The collage I did was probably the most honest and in-your-face piece there. On it was all my likes and what I hoped to achieve. It caught me by surprise actually. I just didn't expect mine to be so straight-forward.

I guess I am just different. I show my likes and dislikes and am at times brutally honest with it. It sucks sometimes, but it can also be a defence weapon against idiots who think that they can pull a fast one with me. Oh, I don't know what to write anymore. My brains are really tired and I can't seem to think of more to blog about here. Will blog again once I am fully rested.

Penning off,

MaeQ

The Royal Visit

2010-03-10T06:53:00.000-08:00

On the historic day of Tuesday, the 9th of March 2010, His Royal Highness, the Crown Prince of Norway paid our college a little visit. Him coming to college provided a little action and entertainment to the every day life of common folks like us. I can tell sincerely say that EVERYBODY was excited...okay, maybe not all, but the majority of us were. I mean, how often do you get to meet the heir to the throne of a country?

HRH was quite a good looking chap in person. Very friendly and always smiling. And it's not fake mind you. You can feel the sincerity in it. His pictures all do not do him justice. He's just too good looking to be unhandsome. Unfortunately the Crown Princess, his wife could not make it due to unforeseen circumstances (it was rumoured that she wasn't feeling well). However, all was good in the college. HRH enjoyed his time -I hope- and everything went smoothly.

Mind you, we had to hold little Malaysian and Norwegian flags and stand along the corridor to welcome HRH. It was like back in primary school during national day celebrations and stuff like that. Funny. For me however, the highlights of the day was the funny antics of my friends.

HA: Oooh...wave our flags.

DT: I LOVE DENMARK!

Everybody: *Stares* *Breaks out in laughter*

HA: DT, what are you talking about?

Me: *Laughs* It's Norway la, DT. Not Denmark.

DT: Oh, gosh. Uhm...I really meant Norway. I LOVE NORWAY!

Mind you, above just one incident. It was funny for the few of us there when we heard that. DT is so absent minded at times. But he is a really nice chap. I mean can you imagine if he had say those exact same words when HRH was passing us? DT....DT.

Another funny little moment was in the lift with 2 Norwegian guys who was at the event.

NG1 - Norwegian Guy 1, NG2 - Norwegian Guy 2

*Everyone scurries into the lift*

NG1: Hello!

HA: Hi!

Me: Hey.

HA: Where you wanna go DT?

DT: I dunno. Up to you.

HA: Go McD la...So long never go already.

DT: Okay la...

HA: You okay ar Me?

Me: Yup.

NG1: Going to McDonald's huh?

HA: Ya...after eating all this salmon I just wanna eat something unhealthy you know...

NG2: Ah, but salmon is good for you. Healthy.

HA: I know, but too much salmon is just .... (shivers)

NG1: You should choose health over all this junk food you know.

HA: I know. But right now I feel like going for unhealthy food that will kill me in 10 years.

NG1: You need a counsellor.

*Everyone laughs*

*Chef E from college enters the lift on the 11th floor*

CE: Ooh...smells like salmon.

HA: Ya lah...just came from salmon competition. *Pauses awhile* You know the best part of the salmon is?

*Norwegians smiled and said nothing and somehow I could guess what HA was going to say*

HA: The head.

*The smiles are wiped off the Norwegians faces*

NG1: In Norway, WE don't eat the heads. *The look of controlled disgust*

CE: *Still oblivious* Yeah, I like the eyes and lips parts.

*Lift opens*

Yes, it was overall a good and hilarious day for me. I had a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet a royalty and I had fun with my college mates. And it's these little moments in life that makes me look back and smile at the memories with fondness. It was simple yet memorable. Moments like these don't happen every day, but when it does, it's worth everything we have.

For His Highness,

MaeQ

Songs In Love

2010-03-07T05:19:00.000-08:00

Yes, songs that make you wanna fall in love and stay happy forever, even if you do not have a partner or significant other at the moment. Right now, I am listening to Shayne Ward's 'Stand By Me'. It is an awesome piece. You can just feel the love exuding from his songs. Another favourite of mine from his is 'Until You'. The songs are so poignant and meaningful.

Listening to songs like these makes you wanna go out and find that Prince Charming that we all dream of. (For this post, I am excluding you guys because I am not a guy and I don't get the way guys think, so, I can't be bothered really.) It makes us fall in love with the singer or some invisible guy. It is not healthy but hey, if you succeed in finding a guy of your dreams, call me.

Many a times I find myself wishing that I would find the guy that was meant for me. I am 21 years old and I have NEVER once in my entire existence dated or even had a boyfriend. It's so sad sometimes. But, I am coming to terms with this. Malaysian guys are on the whole shallow and idiotic. They do not recognise what is good to or for them even if you dangle it in front of them.

I have decided that I am too precious and special to lower my expectation and self-esteem to impress guys who will never appreciate me for who I am. I will wait for that special guy someday. That special someone who will make me laugh, thinks and act maturely and loves me for who I am. That someone who will always be there for me through thick and thin and respects me for the person I am.

That someone who has the guts to stand up to anyone because of his principles and help me to grow as a person along the way. My wait for him all these while would be worth it. Because I believe that God has reserved the best for me. I believe that it will be one His best gifts for me. So for now, all I have to do is to live my life fully and with love. And continuing to listen to the love songs that makes me fall in love of course.

God's most unique gift to mankind - Music.

Love and Kisses,

MaeQ

Glee!

2010-03-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

     Yes, the title suggests the story that I'm going to blog about. And yes, I have been neglectful of my blog for the past month. I did try blogging at the beginning of February, but I had blogger's block. And, I was practically lazy for the whole of last month. Forgive me all my fans...er...fan.

     So, I was busy. And lazy. But I'm not now. So...well. A quick update. Celebrated Chinese New Year, managed the cafe in college, got into real lazy mode, finishing up my proposal for practical exam, finishing the presentation for the subject that involves the cafe, facebooked, stalked people's profile - and by people I mean my family and friends only, I'm weird, but not whack -, watched Glee and starting a show choir club based on watching Glee. Hah!

     And His and Her Royal Highnesses the Crown Prince and Princess of Norway will be visiting our college come Tuesday! Yay! Am I ever so excited! We have royalties coming to visit our small college. And we have to be in our traditional costumes. There's no bloody way am I going to wear a freakin' Cheongsam. I think I will settle for the Malay traditional costume of Baju Kurung...not flattering but it beats wearing a Cheongsam. I'll try to coerce my dad into loaning me his camera for this once in a lifetime event.

     So, yes. That's about it. Updates, updates and more updates. So, back to Glee. Oooh...how I love that show. Who cares even if the actings are not Oscar worthy? The point is it is new, refreshing and provides a great entertainment to us mere mortals living in a cruel world. What I love the most are the music scenes where they start singing and performing. It's freakin' awesome even if they are no Beyonce when it comes to performing. Next, is the hot hunk of a teacher, William Schuester played by Matthew Morrison. Fuck it if he can't rap like Usher or Kanye. He's still HOT doin' that Kanye piece, 'Gold Digger'.

     This story represents everything I love. Singing and dancing to make a splendid performance. A show choir is something I would love to be part of if my high school actually had a club like this. They only went for choir competitions but there weren't any choir club. To top it all, they rejected all applicants who did not have a music background for choir including me. That's probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard. In the end, due to shortage of male vocals they had to recruit guys without musical background. Finally, they lost. Haha.

     I am not ashamed to say that I secretly hoped that they would lose. They're ruling in the very first place was stupid and nonsensical. I had a decent singing voice, no Mariah or Celine, but enough to not split people's ears. Do not be disillusioned by people with musical background. Good ear in music do not mean good voice. If you ever heard some of the best producers in the music industry sing, even you will cringe in pain. Secondly, the choir teacher was an old spinster who loved no one but herself. It wasn't a shocker that they lost. They sucked from the beginning till the end. So, I guess it was a blessing in disguise.

     Back to the topic at hand. Glee is a breath of fresh air I would say. It is definitely no High School Musical. True that they break out into a song once in a while, but the scores that they sing are lovely and catchy. Whereas High School Musical only captured the audience with their songs during their first installment. After that, it was a downward spiral. Pathetic truly. However, the songs sang by the casts in Glee were truly crowd pleasers and favourites. The mesh-up episode, where they mixed two different songs and made it into one, were truly spectacular.

     The plot is truly delicious. Rivalry and revenge is constantly present in this show in the form of Sue Sylvester played and performed outstandingly by Jane Lynch. Her bitchiness and scheming ways keeps the show entertaining and juicy. I have to say the only other female actress who impressed me with an outstanding performance was Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday. Jane Lynch is my new favourite as she slips into the shoes of a sadistic cheerleading coach perfectly. Her attempts to thwart the success of the Glee Club as they interfere with the funding of her Cheerios is hiliarious and malicious, definitely.

     Well, I could go on and on about this show and the characters in it. But I won't spoil any of your fun. Just watch it for yourself and you would be hooked in no time. As for me, I can't wait for the remainder of the 1st season to be aired so that I can watch it and have some fun.

Gleekly Gleek,
MaeQ

Hospitality Upfront

2010-01-31T02:48:00.000-08:00

     It's the last day of the month and I just thought that I will "pen" down my thoughts, for this will be the last post for this month. My anger has yet to ebb away, but, I wasn't going to talk about those two anyway. Now, I'm going to discuss here about my course. Bachelors in Hospitality Management. Unfortunately for me, I didn't actually do my research thoroughly before selecting this course.

     It's saying that I do have my regrets. However, my regrets are not that big to warrant changing my major or course. I can tell you that I just skimmed through the entire syllabus module, noting the hard and challenging subjects for me. Calculations. Anyway, that aside, I definitely did not bother about the other subjects. Assuming it was easy peasy.

     Boy, I was wrong. Hospitality is no easy shit, that's for sure. It's sweat, grit and your determination that will get you through. People have the misconception that we hospitality students do not have assignments. You guys thought wrong. We have loads of assignment. Yes, we do hands on stuff, but we can't escape from written assignments too. It sure is a handful.

     Let me give you poor sods what we went through last semester. We had housekeeping and front office practicals. Yup, making beds, cleaning toilets, etc. We were lucky I think. I don't know about the rest, but only 2 hours of housekeeping a week is more than enough to last a lifetime for me. Though the front office practicals are not enough to satisfy my curiosity and excitement. Then, we had restaurant practicals. We would alternate between service and kitchen duties every week. It was tiring as it usually takes up the whole day and if we were doing kitchen duty, we had to come in one extra day for mise-en-place (it's preparation before production).

     On top of that, we had to complete various assignments for different subjects. Even if we were doing practicals, written assignment was a must. It was crazy last semester. With 5 subjects we had to study for. Out of 5, we had 3 practical examinations. We were in pathetic conditions by the end of the semester. Never have I looked forward for semester break so badly in my life.

     With the end of that semester, it was the end of 4 days a week's 8.30am classes where I had to wake up at 5.45 every morning in order to get to class on time. It was also the end of going back home at 5.30pm for 3 days in a week. I was practically almost a hermit. Refusing to leave the house to meet up with friends for 'mamak' or even movies. Thank God it's over!

     This semester is so much better. 4 subjects and only 2 classes a week that starts at 8.30am and going back late only on Fridays! Yeehaw! I can hang out more with my friends. Watch television at least an hour a day ( I dare not even watch television on weekdays last semester when I wasn't too sleepy). Life is much better now for me. And this semester will be my last semester facing practicals. Yay! Glory to God indeed! Well, that's all for now. Got an essay pending and cafe advertisement to design.

Zooming and Fuming,
MaeQ

Of Shithead and Shithead

2010-01-30T00:38:00.000-08:00

     Some people are born shitheads. And some are born to hang out with shitheads. Yes, I'm talking about you two shitheads who were supposed to help us out in the cafe. I don't care what the rest think about me for calling you two this, but I think you two shitheads deserve it and each other. B** you are a born shithead, despite my previous infatuation with you, I still think you are one. H*****, you are born to hang out with shitheads and thus earning the label of being one despite your potrayed sweet character. I'm sorry to say this, but your parents did not bring you guys up well at all, hence your lack of courtesy and manners.

     How can you be so selfish as to cancel out on us at the very last minute? Let's say that we did supposedly "work you guys like dogs" but do we deserve such treatment? The most unfortunate part of all is that we are coursemates, not workmates. Don't we deserve more courtesy than this? If you feel that we are mistreating you guys, you could have just come up to us and say so or at least not "volunteer" again this week. We would understand and apologise if we did wrong.

     Everything is new to us too, just like it is to the both of you. Instead of choosing the proper way to tell us, you behaved in a cowardly and childish manner. What good would it do if you go around telling others of our faults instead of telling us, so that we can improve? What can you achieve by simply deciding to cancel out on us at the very last minute?

     You say that we work you like dogs. But do you know how much we have to do for mise-en-place? There are only 3 of us doing mise-en-place for the entire cafe and only 2 hours to complete before service. After that only 2 will do the clean up while another 2 goes for trolley sales. The lecturer will not do inventory and the printing of menu for us. Everything is to be handled by us, even the programming of the cash register. You two only come in for service for 2 bloody hours. We provide you lunch and even throw in a free dessert as a token of appreciation. Yet you do this to us.

     We are not slave drivers. But I wish that you guys had been more considerate and tactful. We are humans too. We make mistakes. Even if it was not a busy day at the cafe this week, the last minute cancellation was really uncalled for. It really shows your immaturity. When you start your CRM next semester, I hope you get a dose of your own medicine. When that day arrives, I will sit back and watch in satisfaction. What goes around comes around.

Mad and Disappointed,
MaeQ

Au Revoir Old Man

2010-01-27T18:26:00.000-08:00

     There was once a ruler who ruled this faraway kingdom in Oblivious Land. This ruler's name was Lecher. Now, even if his name was Lecher, many people thought that he was a kind and thoughtful and an above fault ruler. People from outside the kingdom of course. People in Oblivious Land of course knew better. King Lecher was not really the ideal ruler.
      After many years of reign, His Royal Lecherousness finally gave in. His heart gave in, according to official sources. Unofficially, who knows? I mean royalties practically think that they are God's. Now that he is finally out of the way, the dam finally breaks. The dam that withold many dirty and disgusting secrets of that particular King.
     Secret #1:- It is an unwritten rule that nobody could drive their carriages faster than King Lecher. Anyone caught doing so will be shot upon catching up by His Highness. Under any circumstances, anybody who shoots another for this matter will be sentenced to hang or what ever punishment appropriate. Talk about above the law.
     Secret #2:- He shot a servant for carrying his walking stick wrong. Brother of the servant found out about it and went amok in the middle of the village. Quite a number died that day. All because of something so small. Quite single handedly caused the death of a number villagers because the mighty King Lecher found it beneath him to have servants carry his stick the wrong way.
     Secret #3:- When His Royal Highness leaves Oblivious Land, he travels with his royal entourage. I mean, what is so secretive about this right? Haha. Here comes. When travelling, he has a few servants that will attend to him. Needless to say, they were all girls. And in the confines of the carriage, he fondles them. Yup, right in front of his Queen, Faith.
     In a nutshell, good riddance to this old lecherous ass. Well, you will be sorely missed, not. Oops! Did I say it wrong? Nope. You're dead and you can't come out of your grave and start shooting me can you? Rest in hell, old man.

Adios,
MaeQ

Society - Perception.

2010-01-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

     I was sitting in church the other day, listening to the priest preaching, or rather daydreaming...(but hey, I'm not perfect)...when I started thinking about this topic that I am about to write. I was thinking of how nice of my lecturer for saying that I am a caring person and my best friend saying my smile is my best feature. And my sister for saying, indirectly of course, that life is dull without me since I love to clown around and make life so much more fun for her. =)
     When I was first told of all these, I was very surprised really. I was surprised because people are actually praising me and telling me something that I unconsciously knew. It got me thinking, why am I so surprised to hear all these out from them? Then, I realized something else. I grew up being told I am not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not patient enough and so and so forth.
     I grew up thinking that I was never good enough or never enough in something. And when I was told that I am good in some way or another, I actually am surprised. This is all thanks to society's perception that a person can never be good enough or good the way they are. They always compare and criticize at every moment about anything and everything.
     I mean, what is wrong with being a little chubby? Or being too thin? Or if you walk or talk funny? Or you dress differently? Or you don't do 'normal 'stuff that people do? Why should we conform to the so-called "norm of society"? Are we really that perfect? Is the "norm of society" a perfect piece of example? Size 0 or 2 bodies? Is it healthy mentally and physically?
      People that I know of, people who supposedly "conform to the norm of society" are not happy people themselves. They are more often than not dissatisfied with what they have. Be it the perfect body, boyfriend, car, etc. All thanks to society's perception. But then again, who consists of the society? The guy next door? The lady across the street? You? Me?
      All I know is that, in order to change society's perception, we have to change our own perceptions first. It is not easy, yes. But we still got to try. Try sticking more with positive people or influencers in your life. Stay away from those who brings you down. After all, the outlook of the person you constantly mingle with will rub onto you. Also, love ourselves first before we love others. If we have no love for ourselves, how are we to love others?

Till then,
MaeQ

Babble.

2010-01-19T04:57:00.000-08:00

This post will be of no particular topic. I just want to babble. No more heavy stuff for today. My brain's a jumbled up mess at the moment.

Why I even bother to blog is beyond my comprehension. It's suppose to be my personal diary, BUT online.

So, it is a personal, public diary. Ironic. I must admit though I want people to read my blogs. As of now, my auditorium is filled with only one spectator. Wow.

If I were a director, I'd be kicked out onto the streets. I direct only to a room filled with one seat.

How pathetic is that, huh?

So, I might promote my blog...but, then I can't type any stuff that I wanna type anymore. Especially if it concerns people that I dislike immensely. Hah.

Crap. I am a crappy writer. Who wants to read my stuff anyway? Oh well, que cera, cera.

Babbled,
MaeQ

Life, Now.

2010-01-19T03:49:00.000-08:00

It has been such a long time since I posted a blog. Shows how busy I was. Well, and a tad of laziness I would add. It's not easy maintaining a blog. One of my resolution for this year is to do better in the time management area, hence posting up this blog.
I have lots to write about. But as it is, I have some stuff to do now. Folding clothes for example. Domestic chores. Haha. This happens when you still live with your parents.
A quick update.
Since my last post, I have actually sat for a final exam, celebrated Christmas and New Year's and started a brand new semester in my college. I'm in my third semester. Yay!
A lot, and I mean A LOT has happened from then till now. I have also a few unpublished work. I will post them up once I have finished with it. I'll also try to manage my blog better.
I have loads to write. So, I'm going to have to finish my household chores and try to publish a few up within this 2 weeks. God willing.

See ya then,
MaeQ

Rants

2009-11-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

Disappointed! I can't help but to feel disappointed. A person can truly be multi-layered and so very different in personality when under different circumstances or with different people. Why would you lie? Why?

"No, I never had a girlfriend. Nah, I'm not a player."

And then I found out a little secret. You slept with somebody from the birthday party you attended. Yup, thanks a lot. That really shows your character. It is sad really. That you even bothered to lie. You're a big guy. But truth seems to be difficult on your tongue.

Guys, now guys are real pain-in-the-asses. They lie, they cheat, they beg. For what? To get in your pants.
*Sighs*
You really shattered your image in front of me. What is the point of lying really? A little truth will not hurt anyone. You were man enough to sleep with a person of the opposite gender but not man enough to admit it.

I wonder if you lost your balls to her while f***ing her? I used to dream of Prince Charming and I thought you were quite and almost perfect except one little fault of yours. Until I heard, you slept with her. There is so much I can take, but you must know that I am quite disgusted by you.

Not because you slept with her, but because you saw the point of lying to my face. Guys take me for a fool, but know that I always know what you guys do in the end. I guess it is impossible to find somebody like in the fairytale stories that we all used to love as children.

##############################################################################

Have you ever heard of the love song that makes you all fuzzy and warm inside? Just feel like cuddling up and snuggling to your special someone. And then suddenly you realised, wait, I don't have a special someone. Sad ain't it?

Oh well, that is life. You walk down the street and can only watch in envy at the happy couples strolling hand in hand. Or maybe your friends who seem to be in great relationships. Can't really help but to wish that you had someone who can treat you like that. To make you feel special.

Probaly you'll find that someone today, tomorrow, next week, blah blah blah...or never. But who cares right? It is not as if you cannot live without them. If you think you can't, just sing Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive".

Ranted,
MaeQ

Of Parties and People

2009-10-31T22:54:00.000-07:00

So, it has been 2 weeks since I last posted something on my blog. And well, pretty much a few interesting things have been going on. Last week, we had a party in honour of my sister's birthday. And this week we had a halloween party and a concert the next day. It was hectic and fun but totally exhausting.

Parties are loved by everybody. Some are great and some aren't. But hey, the parties I went for this past 2 weeks were great in their own little ways. The people who attended, make it all the more interesting. They were an awesome bunch. Strangers coming together and having lots of fun. As I have seen and experienced first hand, a lot of effort and thoughts were put together in making parties successful.

So, here is one for all the people who made a great effort in putting up awesome parties! And here is another for all the people who attended the parties adn made it rocked! Ganbei!

Cheers,
MaeQ

This One's For You

2009-10-18T05:33:00.000-07:00

This post is a special dedication to my baby girl sister. Wooooooot! (Personally, I do not know how many times I am suppose to give her special treatment...and she is only 19...hmm)

Here you are, all grown up...
Already 19 you are...
I still remember my first memory of you...
It was of mushroom pinching from the refrigerator at home!

The countless fights we had...
The scratching and pinching of one another...
And not to forget the telling on each other...
And also the butt following from one end to the other...
Not to mention head-diving into trouble together...
Making life quite unbearable for our parents at times...
And all these when we were very much younger...

Now that we are older...
Well, not much has changed...
We still fight, minus the scratching and pinching...
We don't really tell on each other....do we?
There is no more butt following, but now, it is side by side...heroines in action!
We still head-dive into trouble together...co-conspirators we are...
And we still make life miserable for some chosen people...

All I want to say is that, for the 19 years that I know you, I still love you even if we are so very different in nature..
I wanna thank you for always being there for me...
Thank you for always listening to me...
Thank you for being patient with me even if I do not deserve it at times...
Thank you for always standing up for me whenever I needed it...
Thank you, most of all, for bearing with me all these years...

Oh yeah, you still got a life time of putting up with me... =)

Anyway, I just want to wish you a blessed and happy birthday!
May you find a place by God's side and continue to be his angel on earth.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!

Lots of love,

MaeQ

I Try...

2009-10-12T03:22:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to blog, but I will because I promised myself that I would...Ok...
The past weekend has been very busy and it will continue to be busy until my semester holidays start...I just can't wait for it...I'm swamped with practicals and assignments almost every other day...And as I stay here blogging, one assignment is already beckoning me, telling me that it is due this Thursday...

I hate procrastinating...I really do...but I can't help it...and I have like 3 more assignments to do with a few more popping up the last minute as usual...I thought secondary school life was hectic...little did I know of college life...People always say that college life is the best years of one's life...I cannot agree or disagree to this statement as I have yet to graduate...

But let me give you a glimpse of what I think when people say that college life was the best years of their life. These people could be the very ones that I am seeing around right now...flunking papers, resitting exams or scrapping by their papers...barely...spends their time in the student center playing computer games...or skipping classes and fooling around during lessons...never a care in the world...You'd be thinking, "Bill Gates succeeded." Excuse me, if you had the brains of Bill Gates, you won't be here...you'd be running your own company by now and partying till dawn...He is super smart and you are a super moron....see? Total opposites....since you don't have his abilities you might as well pay attention.

"Ya...you study now, good results, for what? You go out work also no use what....your skills are most important, not your exam results...."
This is one response I got from a student and I bet many others will say the same if I told them to be more serious in their studies...hello? People? Are you morons by nature or just won't use your God given brains to think? The papers that we are sitting are all basics for us to use in the future...you're not learning stuff that you can throw in the dustbin like the ones taught to us in secondary school, you are in the hospitality line!

And just in case you did not make the connection my dear friends, final exams is only accounted for 40 percent of the entire subject. That means the other 60 percent has to come from skills learnt and from observation isn't it? Nobody can have excellent results unless they fared well for both written and practical examinations. So please don't tell me that my results are not important because it shows my commitment alright? We are not in secondary school anymore where the exams are all based only on written papers...there is more to it than that.

Yes, I agree that we do need our R&R time as all study and no play made Jack a dull boy...I don't like studying, but it doesn't mean that I won't...I love playing, but it doesn't mean I do it all the time...one must know one's limit and when to pull the stops...there are limits to everything...and by growing up you will actually learn more...accept more responsibilities and focus...it's not very hard is it?

Wake up and smell the flowers people...or better yet, yourself...if you stink, go get a bath and refresh your thoughts...nobody wants your yesterday's smell and thoughts...move onwards people and pay more attention to what you do now...it may help you in the near future....you're not called graduates for no reason.

Move onwards,
MaeQ

Matters Of The Heart

2009-10-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've been trying too hard not to love you, but I love anyway - Boyzone

Oh yes, this comes from the lyrics of their song Love You Anyway. Most people would agree or identify with this statement at least once in their life. We try so hard not to like that other person across the room or next to us, but that feeling is so hard to ignore and thrown aside. Everything is made harder by seeing that 'someone' nearly everyday, either in school, work or anywhere we play.

You always wonder each morning if that 'someone' will be there when you reach your work place or college. If he will make eye contact with you for that day and greet you with that smile of his that seems to melt your heart. If perhaps for once in your life you would be brave enough to actually go up to him and say hello and make a decent conversation. Or just to chat with him if you already know him.

And you can't help but to have that fleeting thought of jealousy when he approaches the opposite gender who is more attractive than you. Hoping and wishing of course that your 'someone' will not fall in love or into a relationship with that pretty girl or that hot chick. Yes, everyone has been there and done that and for a number of people, still there.

It's so hard just to make eye contact and smile at the person that we like, yet it is so easy to do it to strangers. Sometimes one is even mistaken for being cold and aloft when reacting to someone they like. It is not easy, this love 'thing'. Always praying that the other person might actually one day wake up and decide to see that you are so much better than the other girl.

The feeling of frustration eating into you day by day because you just can't seem to sum up your courage to admit your feelings to him. And beating up yourself mentally when you missed the opportunity to tell him your feelings. It is of course much easier to pretend that nothing is wrong with you. Pretend that you are just buddies and nothing more. Deep inside though, your feelings are yearning to be heard.

Why is it that you have not admitted? Could it be because of the fear of rejection? Or feeling afraid that the friendship that has been built would be broken? Or because we actually think so lowly of ourselves and feel that we do not deserve him and nowhere near his status?

And worst of all, we all fall for guys that other or many girls like. Only we think that he is special and has the attributes of a great person that only we can see, at the beginning. But once our feelings have actually developed for him, we realize that...uh-oh...we are definitely not the only one. Why, oh, why were we so blind and did not see this coming?

When he glances at you or gives you that smile or avoiding your gaze, you wonder that what he actually thinks of you. Or if he is even thinking of you. And trying hard to read or understand his actions and the way he reacts to you or around you. If he is cold-shouldering you because he has feelings for you or dislikes you. Women, just like men would pay dearly or a lot just to read what is going through the minds of men.

Until then, we just have to play the guessing game with a little hope. Matters of the heart is never easy and predictable. All we can do is pray that when the day comes, our heart will not be broken into a million tiny pieces.

With love,
MaeQ

1st Attempt, Again.

2009-10-03T01:27:00.000-07:00

Ok...so here it is...I suck at blogging and I am attempting to...I have read many blogs and yet I still can't even attempt a decent blog...it sucks really...
I have countless ideas in my head that is just waiting to be written out...grouses, comments, thoughts...and...so much more...

Where do I begin?
How do I begin?
What should I begin with?

Blogging phenomena is huge...is it because it offers a platform for people to voice anything out in public with the security of not having to say it out aloud in public?
Or is it possibly therapeutic because it is like an online diary where you actually want people to read instead of keeping it to yourself?

Well, for whatever reason, blogging is gaining a huge following.
So, I am going to start blogging too...and hopefully stick to this regime..I tried once...posted three times and just forgot about it...
So, today I'm gonna try again and hopefully maintain a decent pace.

Until then,
MaeQ